Line Editing Examples

Example #1
Before: This test can also be positive in 5% of healthy individuals, and it can also be present in people with other types of rheumatic diseases or if you have an infection.

After: This test can also be positive in 5% of healthy individuals and people with other types of rheumatic diseases and infections.

The before sentence moves from describing “this test” to an unknown “it” being present to addressing “you.” The after version is clearer for the reader.

Example #2
Before: All over the world, there are dedicated researchers who are chasing the answers. One of these days, they’ll have the breakthrough.

After: All over the world, dedicated researchers are chasing the answers. One of these days, they’ll have the breakthrough.

Avoid starting a sentence with “there are.” Instead, pair a strong noun with an active verb for more impact.